By: Georgepat Copyright: 2005 by Georgepat “I’m tellin’ ya Bob, it really happened just the way I told ya,” the large, bald man told his friend, “it was just them and me and this here belaying pin that night.” “Come on Pappy, do you really expect me to believe that crap?” Bob asked, as he closely examined the tooth in his hand, “nobody’s going to believe it.” “What can I do to convince ya?” “Tell me the story again and this time don’t digress so much, ok?” “Don’t what?” “Digress. It means… oh hell, just tell the story, Pappy.” “It was a long time ago, back when I was young and in the Merchant Marine Service during the Big One. You know Bob, WWll.” “Yeah, I know. Just go on.” “We had just returned from convoy duty in the North Atlantic. It was during the winter and the weather had been as cold as a witch’s tit in January. There wasn’t nary a day went by that we didn’t have to chip ice off the bridge window so’s the skipper could see where he was a goin’. “Me and my mate, Bubba, with the luck o the draw, had won liberty in the port of Norfolk, Virginny. Hell, we hadn’t been off that rust bucket we was on in 6 months and we was hankerin fer some ladies company, if ya know what I mean?” He said, as he elbowed me in the ribs. “Ooohff! Damn it Pappy, quit doing that. I’m gonna be sore as hell tomorrow.” “Sorry bout that, Bob. I really am, now where was I? Oh yeah…Anyway, me and Bubba got dressed up nice and spiffy and left the ship about dark that night. We stopped by the liquor store and bought us some whiskey and smokes and then headed for Gramby Street to find us some ladies. “We saw this bar that had one of those new fangled kind of signs that sputtered and flashed the name, ‘Tropical Palms Bar’. Bein that we thought that was a pretty keen name fer a bar, we went inside to have a go at some of them ladies. “Bubba liked it right off cause it had all these fake palm trees set around inside and the waitresses wore grass skirts. Most of ‘em was ugly as sin strained through a sheet, but hell, we needed some ladies to keep us company that night and beggars, during those days, didn’t have the pick o the lot. “We sat down at an empty table and looked around the room whilst we waited on our waitress to come over. The place was about half full of nothing but men and three old ladies sittin by themselves at the bar. I told Bubba that I thought the pickins was slim and that maybe we should go some place else. “Bubba wouldn’t hear of that so we stayed and ordered a couple o beers from a waitress that was older than I was at the time. Bubba, fer some reason, took an instant likin to her and every time we’d order another beer, he’d get all sweet talking to her. “Seems that her boyfriend was in the bar too, but we didn’t know it at the time and ole Bubba kept after her like a dog after a bitch in heat. “I gotta admit somthin to ya right here Bob, every beer that came to us, we’d pour a mighty shot of whiskey in it and the more we had to drink the better she was looking. “After bout two hours of drinkin and Bubba and me talking her up, I think she was near ready to leave with us and go to a flop house down the street so’s we could all git better acquainted, if ya know what I mean?” Pappys elbow shot out quickly and again almost doubled me over in pain. “Oh hell, I did er again. I forgot you don’t like that. Err ah, Bob, don’t suppose ya could buy me a drink could ya? Throat’s getting kinda dry, ya know? “Anyway, Bubba and me got up and walked to the door and waited for our lady to fetch her coat from the back room when this huge man walked over to us and stood right in front of Bubba almost nose to nose. I stepped back a few paces and watched as he asked Bubba just what the hell he thought he was doin by messin with his woman like that? “Now ya gotta understand Bob, Bubba was a big galoot and mean as a snake whilst he was drinkin. He didn’t take kindly to this man for poking his busted nose into our business of tryin to snare a lady for the night and before I could bat an eye, Bubba had cold cocked that sumbitch right where he stood. “The bar went quiet as a Baptist church that had a whore come to the service when they saw what Bubba had done. One of the men picked up a chair and broke it over Bubba’s head and dropped him like a sack o rocks to the floor. “I reached in my back pocket and took out this here belayin pin I carried everywhere I went and commenced to bust as many heads that come my way. The room was full of screamin men and blood was a flyin all over the damn place. “Bubba had got up by then, shook his big, ugly mug and joined in the fun. They was a dropping like fly’s in an old barn on the first hard frost. I looked behind Bubba and saw the man that he had already hit, stand up and go after Bubba’s back with a knife in his hand. I stepped between ‘em and swung this pin just as hard as I could and smacked that sombitch right square in his mouth. “Blood and teeth shot out of his mouth and his eyes glazed over afore he fell hard to the floor. I looked around and except fer those three old ladies still a sittin at the bar, there wern’t another man standin or sittin, for that matter. They was crumpled on the flood like cordwood stacked and awaitin winter. “I happen to look down at my pin and saw this white thing stuck in the end of it. I brought it closer to my eyes and damn if it wern’t one of that sombitch’s teeth, stuck deep in the hard wood of my belayin pin. “About that time we heard them sirens a getting close so me and Bubba walked out the back door of the bar and left.” “That’s some tale Pappy, but I still don’t believe you.” “Ya don’t believe it?” Pappy asked, “hand me that there tooth, Bob.” Pappy took the tooth and fitted it tightly into the depression at the end of the highly polished belaying pin and turned it loose. It fit exactly! “Well, I’ll be damned.” I said, as Pappy smiled broadly. |